It’s always the same routine to score RCAB (Random Chicken at the Bar). Shower, brush your hair, put on something clean, spray on some perfume. Last weekend someone asked me what scent I was wearing. It was satisfied. I like to be noticed. Once there, I didn’t know what I was looking for. Some nights are “bones, bones”, other nights are “maybe I’ll meet the girl I’m going to marry”. When I can’t avoid bumps and burns, I just call everyone a slut and order a pizza. Read: how to choose a slut “If only I could save them all”, we thought as we loaded our guns. You are required to equip weapons. Anyone following the Mystery Method will tell you that. “I’m taking it easy” is not a good conversation starter. Don’t be an asshole. Nobody likes that. You must force the bartender your way, preferably through a group of potential target babes. Make yourself noticeable but only acknowledge them when passing. Order something expensive and leave the tab open. Chicks like guys with plenty of money. I have sometimes used the act of grazing “accidentally” passing by. This is especially effective if you’re wearing a recognizable piece of clothing. They will remember you. Some RCABs may consider this a form of sexual assault. Don’t worry about those bad things. You are a man. This is your prerogative. Eggshells are not your concern. Followed by a brief post. Think like an NFL offensive coordinator. If the bar has a terrace of some kind, go up there and draw some plays. Then go down and try eavesdropping a bit. RCAB likes when guys relate to them. If you know what they’re talking about, it’s much easier to identify common ground. Back to the bartender. Eight times out of ten RCABs from your first trip will still be there, waiting for someone to notice and talk to them. For all the feminist talk about blowing up gender roles, the RCABs prefer to stick with tradition. They want the man to be dominant. Read more: Cause Mayhem Meteorology Let’s make some rebuttal comments about how they still stand around. Don’t be too mean. The hotter you are as a guy, the simpler you can be. The RCABs will talk endlessly about finding good boys but in this case, they just want to get caught. This time, choose an RCAB and offer her a drink. If you don’t eat grass, throw her out. If you do it right, she will say yes. Make sure you know her name. Repeat it often. RCAB likes to hear their own names. To you, they’re neither unique nor interesting but using her name would obfuscate that from the RCAB. Not groping, but enough to let her know that she’s yours for the evening. This will also signal to the other RCAB hunters she is talked about. What you talk about doesn’t matter. Just make eye contact and repeat her name. Most RCABs will respond strongly to this. A PDA is a sign of an inexperienced RCAB hunter, but some may be needed. Don’t ask for her number. You’ll know when the RCAB is ready to be sent home. Finally, be sure to use protection. You don’t know where the RCAB has been. You don’t know where she goes. It’s not important. She is an RCAB. Read more: how to use the scaler
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