How To Get Your Ex To Initiate Contact With You
Let me ask you a question. What if I told you there’s a way you can dramatically improve your ex’s start-up rate. than you think. As it stands, many of us like to see our ex contact us first because it makes us feel powerful and today, we’re going to talk about how to do that. But first, I’m going to dispel one of the biggest misconceptions you can have about how to get your ex to contact you first, and then I’ll teach you what really works. to make it a reality.
The biggest misconception about getting your ex to reach out to you first
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Let me start by saying something equally important as this misconception. first, but we’ll come back to that because that’s not what I’m talking about here. They contact you first. In fact, I would go out and say that you probably won’t get the same results if you ignore your ex and expect them to contact you first. comes from a huge proponent of the no-contact rule, but my idea of the no-contact rule has always been different from that of my colleagues. contact rules the same way. They all think about what the rule might do to make their ex contact them or miss them. First? If you know me, you know that I always aim to back up my claims with real facts and examples. Poll my clients to see how breakups go. My private Facebook support group for this issue. This is not a pitch, but I wanted to give you more context. your ex back or get over your ex – so they can help and listen to each other. I’m often into life on Facebook (my wife and other coaches/moderators show up too!) And I’ve done some polls to get the right info on coming back after those real person farewell. Did people who completed the no-contact rule contact old friends during that time? “The results shocked me a bit.
Read more: How to keep strapless bras from slipping Out of 47 people who responded to my poll, 29 of them said their ex didn’t communicate during the no-contact rule. The poll did not have exes approach them when they treated their exes silently. Why? Very simple – I believe men are stubborn. and they want you to be the first to reach out. Their ego needs at least a little caress before starting a conversation.
So how can you make your ex reach out to you first?
Well, remember at the beginning of this article, I said that it doesn’t matter who is the first contact but who ends the conversation. you first. When I say you want to “master” these elements, it’s not really about mastering a particular technique or saying a particular thing will make them reach; it’s more about fostering an environment where it’s only natural for them to want to reach out to you. So what are these two psychological factors you need to have.
Allow me to go a little deeper.
Factor #1: Engage in a satisfying conversation
What I’m about to say goes against everything you’ve been taught, but I always advise my clients to reach out to men first after the no-contact rule. ending the conversation rather than about who started the conversation, but really, what I’m not telling you in that quote is that when you contact, it allows you to create and control a conversation. satisfying chat. the number one area where people struggle. Yes, a lot of people (about 80% according to our research) at some point don’t adhere to the no-contact rule, but that’s not really where they struggle the most. The trick is that if you want your ex to start contacting you, you need to be in a state where the two of you are having consistent and satisfying conversations.Define what a satisfying conversation looks likeFor some, a satisfying conversation is a 10-minute conversation, while for some, it’s an hour-long conversation. their interests and have great conversations. The key to a satisfying conversation is to always make sure it pleases your ex, not just you! Talk about your ex’s passions to engage them on a deeper level, to surprise them when you share things they like Now you know you need to have satisfying conversations; How should you end these conversations when they become satisfied? That’s the number 2 that comes out.
Element #2: The Zeigarnik Effect
Read more: How to fix a broken tent zipper This psychological concept was created by Dr. Bluma Zeigarnik, who said that “People remember interrupted or incomplete tasks better than completed tasks. .” In other words, people are addicted to video games. Have you ever noticed your favorite TV shows and the specific reason behind you binge-watching them, it boils down to episodes ending with a video game – always makes you want to know more . all its content at once) extremely popular these days. How many of us have gotten so hooked on a Netflix show that by its 2 a.m. we know we have work the next day, but we still say those deadly final words “just one more episode. “The cliffhanger at the end of the episode makes you watch that extra episode, lose sleep, and have a miserable day at work the next day because you just HAVE to find out what happens next. That is the Zeigarnik effect. That’s the most interesting part, so you think, “Hey, I want to find out what happens next.” By the way, I’m watching the amazing show called The Last Kingdom by Netflix which does this perfectly. Check it out! Anyway, back to the topic, when we started recommending our clients to do this in chats, we noticed immediate results! But how do you do this to your ex? Well, the first part is having a satisfying conversation with your ex So he’s hooked on you. shut up because you talked about all you could. I tell my clients that all this makes it painful to think, “I don’t want this to end.” It’s the exact time to end it because your ex probably doesn’t want it to end either! Of course, people always get caught up in the details and obsess over specific ways to end a conversation. Here are some of the best ways.
- Business suddenly comes and you need to solve the problem
- Your child interrupts the conversation (if you’re the mom)
- Your phone accidentally died
However, the truth is that you can have a lot of fun dreaming of ids like these. The Zeigarnik effect? Well, nothing immediate. A lot of people expect their ex to contact them the next morning to end the conversation or talk about something else, but things don’t always work out that way. If you have a satisfying conversation with your ex that you end up on at the high end of the conversation, that’s usually not enough to get your ex to initiate contact. The more you develop this model, the more they will eventually have to interrupt and start the conversation first because they need to find out what happens next. Usually, they will want to contact you the next day to continue the conversation. So keep having satisfying conversations and end them first! That fosters the environment necessary for them to initiate a conversation.
Inference:
The goal of getting your ex to contact you first really doesn’t matter as long as you’re ending the conversation on a high note. Definitely looking forward to talking to you so he will eventually contact you first. Read more: how to get larvae | Top Q&A
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