How To Respond To A Limerent Spouse Part 2

If you’re suffering from marital infidelity, marriage expert Joe Beam offers the best advice on how to deal with your cheating spouse.Joe Beam, nationally renowned author, marriage expert, speaker, and founder of topqa.info, offers advice to anyone whose spouse is cheating. His advice was in response to a question from a reader below.A woman’s storyRead more: How to matte a glossy finish. Top Q&A My husband is having an affair. He went from being a respected member of the community and the church to a man who threw away all his morals and values. He met a younger woman at the gym and fell in love with her. He told me he didn’t love me anymore, that he never loved me, and that he just wanted to be with her. He wants a divorce, refuses to counsel, and refuses to listen to anyone who tries to reason with him. Our kids are devastated. What do I do? I love him, but I don’t know him anymore. He is not the man I married. I fear that man is gone forever. Do I stay and fight, or do I go on? Limerence: The Early Stages of an Love Affair: This in addition to personality behavior, the change you see in your husband is typical of those who wrap up in the early stages of an affair. We call this the emotional state passion fruit. It is very important for the offended spouse to understand passion fruit and what behaviors are likely to be demonstrated as an affair progresses. He was so enamored with the younger woman that he let his emotions convince him that she was worth giving up on the things that were once important to him. His relationships with God, family, and friends. And his respect in the church and the community. Let’s take a look at Limerence to try and get a glimpse of your husband’s behavior.

The obsessed person sees no flaws or negative characteristics in the object of his obsession. In his mind, she was near perfect. He believes that what he feels for her is unique~ that he has never felt this way with anyone else before and can never feel the same way with anyone else Future. Also, anything related to her ~ letters, presents, places they’ve been together ~ becomes special.

He thinks about her constantly, even if it affects his productivity at work. Treat him like an addict. She’s the “fixer”, so he obsess over her. He experiences fluctuating emotions. When things are going well for her, he feels ecstatic. When things go badly for her, he feels anxious. He is jealous and possessive.

He changes in ways that he believes she wants him to change. Some people lose weight, change the way they dress, choose a different hairstyle, or start new hobbies or activities that they were never interested in before falling in love.

He rewrites history to justify his relationship with her. He really believes the new version of things. So when he tells you he never loved you, he believes it. You shouldn’t believe it.

He considers anyone who interferes as an enemy. Therefore, in a sense, you are the enemy. So does your church. Same goes for any friends who don’t approve. Finally, if it is necessary to continue his action, he may even consider God his enemy (or change his view of God to one that makes his behavior is acceptable).

You may have seen most or all of these behaviors in your cheating spouse, which is why you feel like you don’t know him anymore. In many ways, he’s not the man you married; however, in many ways he’s still ~deep inside.Limerence will end~FinallyRead more: 15 Fashion Tips on Dressing Like Fairy Kei The good news is that sanctity doesn’t last forever; it will end eventually. No one can live with this level of emotional intensity all their life. Just like infatuation, the early stages of romantic love. That’s great for a while, then reality starts to happen. The bad news is that a relationship can last several years, and in many cases it’s too late to save your marriage. If you want to try to save your marriage right now, you should know how to deal with someone who is in a hot temper. logic and reasoning have little power to change him. So if you decide to fight for your marriage and try to get him out of the debt situation, you must deal with his feelings rather than his logic.Marriage Expertise Is Your Best Hope Since ongoing counseling may not be an option he would consider, bartering for a weekend getaway is probably your best hope. While such a trade-off may seem intimidating, it may be your only hope. When assessing your marital stress, consider how much you think is most likely to help you and your spouse. What to do if your spouse still wants to leave In some cases, a faithful spouse may continue to seek to end the marriage. If this is your situation, I recommend you read part 2 of this topic, What to do when your spouse is away. I sincerely wish you the best. If ayone in our team can help, don’t hesitate to contact us. Read more: how to wear white lace shorts

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