How To Stop Blaming Yourself For A Failed Relationship

“The hardest times for many of us are the times we give ourselves.” ~ Pema ChodronRead more: How to stop blaming yourself for a failed relationship You can start to believe that you are entirely responsible for what happened and that you deserve to spend years in relations purgatory alone, mourning the loss of a friend. You can take all the blame and blame when you spend months and years alone. Relationships end just because of you And you can feel ashamed, unworthy and unlovable because the other person is too nice and you aren’t. Your ex moves on and may even find love soon after, while you spend a useless amount of time reflecting, hurting, and punishing yourself for what you did. After my marriage, I was a mess, burdened with responsibility, blame, and guilt. In the end, how bright this relationship turned out to be. I attacked myself and felt bad about myself for many years after that, I stayed at home, locked myself in and suffered in silence, believing that no one would want me anymore and that I didn’t deserve to love or be loved. . Is something wrong with her, the relationship, or both of us. I am solely responsible for all that has happened. Everything I do, I blame myself and scold myself. Everything she does, I make excuses, excuses or find ways to blame myself. Sure, I played a big part in how this relationship ended, but I’m not entirely to blame. Seven things you can do to stop punishing yourself in the past.

7 Ways to Stop Punishing Yourself During a Breakup

1. You are doing the best you can, if you know better, you will do better. You are acting on the tools you have at the time. You may not knowingly or intentionally sabotage your relationship or partner. Forgive more, you will do it, but you cannot have at that time. There was a time in my life when I thought it was horrible, so I wasn’t ready to share how I felt about things with me. For example. I think containment and closure are more effective at solving problems than speaking out (believe me, they aren’t). in the middle of an argument (it’s not). This isn’t right or fair, but that’s where I’ve been in my life. If I knew a better way, I would have done it. If I had skills to communicate better, I would have used them. You and I mature, develop and improve as people and partners over time. Future. I am not the person I was yesterday, and I am grateful for that. You can be better next time. You are not solely responsible for what happened. Remember that there are two people in a relationship. You did your part and your ex did theirs. You cannot blame both of them. It takes two people to dance, two people to make the relationship successful and two people to end the relationship. You can put your ex in a completely positive light and view your every move with negativity and judgment. Try to look at the situation more objectively. Give credit and blame equally to both of you. You and your ex have contributed positively and negatively to the relationship. You cannot take 100% responsibility when you are only 50% in the partnership. You deserve the same forgiveness you gave your ex, you deserve just as much rest as you did for your ex, if not more. You may be used to being hard on yourself because loved ones have been hard on you growing up, but instead of being harsh and blaming, choose compassion. Hurt your ex. You are human, mature and make mistakes like everyone else. Your past mistakes need not be regretted for a lifetime. your own version.4. Be more curious about what happened. relationship like I had. Instead of blaming, I asked my mentors and friends to help me understand myself better. can do the job to understand why you performed how you did so that you can do better in the future. .5. Unleash comparison and judgment Read more: how to smooth plastic edges without sanding These self-destructive habits are especially painful after a painful breakup. Instead of comparing yourself to others, see this as a path of growth. Observe how you are stronger, wiser, and smarter in relationships today than you were in relationships before. Instead of judging yourself harshly, be grateful for your growth. Be grateful for experiences that have helped you grow as a person and as a partner.6. Asserting your worthiness for who you are You are feeling as bad as you are about your previous relationship because it opens the wound of your own worthiness. Can you remind yourself that you are more than your relationship and what happened to your ex? No matter what happened between the two of you, you still deserve to be yourself. An opportunity to realize the feeling of unworthiness you used to have before it even started. Once you see the wounds more clearly, you can begin to fix them. many people in your life, and you can show compassion and kindness to many people. Give credit for the good that comes out of this relationship. bad things, don’t you also need to acknowledge the good things that happened? What positive comes from this relationship? How have you grown in a previous relationship? How have you grown and become a better version of yourself? In my relationship, a positive thing happened that we both helped each other achieve their career goals and advance in their careers. We also both recognize self-sabotaging patterns and behaviors and continue to self-correct. We can now better represent ourselves, our loved ones, and future partners with greater self-awareness and understanding. and, after it’s over, the good thing you did. Think about how much, if anything, both of your lives have improved, and if you’ve both become wiser, kinder, more open people. — You don’t have to punish yourself for the rest of your life and take all the blame for what happened. You don’t have to feel guilty and ashamed for what you did to your ex. As an opportunity to grow, you will be able to release the burden of the past and move forward with a wiser and more open heart. Read more: how to know if someone has blocked you online | Top Q&A

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