How To Kiss Ass The Smart Way

How to kiss your butt the smart wayScientific research on how to kiss your butt professionallyRead: how to kiss your butt Yes, kissing your butt can help you move on. But there aren’t many places where you can learn how to kiss your butt effectively. Studies have also shown that when it’s clear it can be counterproductive. you climb the corporate ladder without making you look like a kissing ass:

Frame flattery as it might upset your boss. … One manager we interviewed noted that he often precedes flattering remarks with phrases like “I don’t want to embarrass you but. . . , ”or“ I know you don’t want me to say this but. . . , ”or“ You will hate me for saying this but…

Frame flattery as seeking advice. “… As one manager we interviewed suggested,”. . . if I want others to know that I admire him, instead of saying ‘I really admire you’, I will be more likely to ask him for advice: ‘How can you execute that strategy so successfully?’ kind of like that. . . The basic question is, how can I replicate your success? ” Such questions treat flattery as an attempt to learn from the changer rather than an attempt to gain favor…”

Arguing before agreeing with the boss: “…A focal factor that can reduce the likelihood of opinion congruence is understood as acquisition by challenge the opinion of the influencer before agreeing with them. The clue actor’s expression of consent, then, is more likely to be interpreted as an actual affirmation of the change’s opinion than an attempt to gain favor…”

Find out your boss’s position without asking him, then mention the position in front of him as your own: “…As one manager suggested,”. . . If you keep agreeing with your boss, it sounds like you’re bored. . . but if you find out your boss’s opinion on a policy from talking to his friend and then talking to your boss, you come to the same point. . . it will become more sincere. “

Compliment your boss to your boss’s friend: “As one manager said,“. . . Complimenting someone on his face is an obvious, or at least suspicious, way. If you regularly say nice things about him to his friends, he [the influence target] will almost always learn about it last, and it makes a lot more sense when he does. ”

Show your boss that you have the same values: “… As one manager suggested,“ I find that a good way to start a discussion is to mention something important to me personally and I have reason to believe it is important to the other person — sometimes it’s my religious beliefs, sometimes it’s my commitment to the environment. my school, sometimes it’s my family. . . [when asked why:] they are more likely to trust anything I say then. ”

Mention group memberships that the two of you have in common: “… As one manager said, “If I’m trying to influence someone, I can start a conversation by refers to a group or organization that I know we both belong to. . . [when asked what sort of group:] could be a political party, a religious organization. . . [when asked why:] I think it helps build trust so you can be more persuasive.” This tactic reduces the likelihood of skeptical interpretations of subsequent flattery and point of view by activating bias within the group.

Source: “Sneaky Footsteps to the Boardroom: Biographies of Executives, Sophisticated Interpersonal Behaviors, and Board Appointments” from Administrative Science QuarterlyJoin 45K+ readers. Get free weekly email updates here Read more: how to make cookies in the microwave? Can it kill you? Read more: how to change media sync options on ipad

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