how to deal with an ex husband who is manipulative

If you’re divorcing a narcissist, be prepared for a bumpy ride. Narcissism in divorce is common, but it’s easy to spot if you know the signs to look out for. Being able to anticipate your narcissistic spouse’s strategies will help you stay calm during crazy times — and help keep your divorce from erupting into a high-conflict battle. divorce process. They create drama. Narcissists are drama queens and kings. They know that the best way to divert attention from their friends, or take responsibility for their own behavior, is to create constant chaos. Chaos takes many forms, but the most common include: emotional outbursts; communications boom; make false accusations; refuse to negotiate; repeatedly threaten or initiate legal action, often over petty items. They do this to defuse blame, let you down, win sympathy, and keep control, even at the expense of the kids. Narcissists are just kids in adult bodies going on a rampage to get what they want. Stay calm and move on, get legal guidance from your attorney and emotional support from a therapist to help you do so. They act like victims. Narcissists project their own bad behavior onto others. Chronic victims, they misperceive reality as if they were victims. Some examples: You’re trying to dry me up by asking for child support! (Translation: I’m too special to pay child support). You are prolonging the divorce process! (Translation: how dare you assert your rights?). You are so rigid! (Translation: you maintain a guardianship order) Read more: Horton hears from someone Self-pity habits can be infuriating, especially when you are the one who has been hurt. But resist the urge to reason with the narcissist; he or she will interpret the fact as an attack and mess with the victim’s habits. They make threats. Narcissists use threats to get what they want. These threats often involve money and custody. Many narcissists who threaten to gain more custody really don’t want to spend more time with the kids; they use kids as bargaining chips to scare you. Narcissists often create a false sense of urgency that prompts you to rush: for example, sending you an email promising legal action if you don’t immediately agree to their terms. Your narcissist may also use electronic communications to trick and threaten you 24/7. Try to get rid of the animosity by realizing a lot of it is going on. Don’t react to the tides and limit communication to short, neutral “need-to-know” paragraphs, i.e., “I’m going to the library at 4 p.m. to pick up Susie.” They stopped. The narcissist’s manipulation of divorce also relies on exploitative tactics to hold positions of power. They “misplaced” the papers. They ask constantly. They refuse to negotiate financial planning and parenting arrangements. They can’t seem to give you a straight answer about anything. But if you respond in anger, you will only give the narcissist the response he expects. You can’t get your ex to change his behavior, but you can – and should – continue to set limits and express your needs appropriately. One of narcissists’ favorite dramatic strategies is to accuse their co-worker of being the wrong person. They turned their ex’s teen parenting scandals into allegations of abuse. They interrogate the children about what is happening at the old home, creating anxiety and anger in the children. They launch custody battles: lengthy, costly, psychologically stressful lawsuits that often hurt children more than they help them. Read more: Marty Caffrey Enjoys single life after divorce from ex-wife, Danielle Staub. are actually motivated by a false sense of superiority and the need to prove that they are better parents. Don’t diagnose your ex when you meet your custody evaluator. Provide evidence to support the narcissist’s poor behavior and demonstrate confidence in your parenting abilities. Realize what it is, practice emotional detachment, get support from a mental health professional, and focus on what you can control: your own choices.Read more: How narcissists express themselvesAre you divorcing a narcissist? Do you have questions about post-divorce legal issues, including issues of custody and parenting time? To have all your questions answered, contact us to schedule a free legal consultation. Take the first step to secure your future. Call us today: 888-888-0919.Read more: Who is Judy Moncada On ‘Narcos’? Everything you need to know about fierce actress Cristina Umaña