How To Deal With Abandonment Issues In Relationships
Those who have been abandoned feel anything but peace of mind. They feel lost, unwanted, abandoned, insignificant and helpless. Abandonment is a traumatic shock to your emotional system because you are suddenly cut off from an important relationship. Therefore, life after abandonment involves the search to fill this emotional void. Relationships turn into a minefield of rejection agents. Your fear of abandonment lingers and drives your partner away. You are sensitive, clingy, rigid, manipulative, anxious and obsessive. The more overreacted and necessary you are, the more you despise yourself. You are ashamed of your despair Reading: how to deal with abandonment in relationships To cope with chronic insecurities, you become increasingly attuned to your partner me. Emotional integration means that you depend on people to regulate your self-image and feelings: “I need you to feel good about me so I can feel good about myself. I can’t handle you being upset with me because it means I’m ugly and you’re going to dump me. “Because you rely on your partner for stability, you live a defensive reaction to whatever your partner does. Basically, life is out of your control and you look to your partner to calm the storm. The journey to put ourselves back together is no small feat. But somewhere along the way, you abandoned yourself. You have stopped believing in yourself. You have given up your power and given your power to others to correct you. You depend on the reassurance of others to be your source of peace. To overcome abandonment, you must regain power and be in complete control of yourself. Your focus needs to shift from avoiding abandonment to building a strong self. Recovery is a process of letting go of feeling like a victim and accepting the belief that you are a person of power.
5 ways to overcome abandonment problems in relationships
This article will outline five areas of responsibility in which you are in charge to break dependence and develop solid self.1. Be clear about emotional responsibilityWhen your abandonment paranoia spirals out of control, do you expect your partner to ease your anxiety? If you struggle with abandonment issues, you may have a strong desire to feel cared for. This feeling is entirely justified; However, it will distort your model of personal responsibility. The emotional wormhole you feel inside forces you to seek out a relationship that becomes the answer to your problems. For example, you manage your fear of abandonment by placing the responsibility on others to behave in a way that makes you feel secure. You panic if the person doesn’t perform perfectly. Your partner becomes your anxiety reliever, and his reassurance is the basis for your safety. Therefore, when your partner has a bad week, you will be an emotional wreck. To prevent this emotional response, you need to take full ownership of your emotions. People will trigger your insecurities, but their job is not to make you feel better about yourself. It is your responsibility to cultivate a healthy mind that believes in your best. Accept 100% responsibility for your reactions instead of blaming others for your anxiety. Read more: how to draw a wreath step by step2. Right idealistic expectationsDo you approach the relationship with consumer psychology? Do you think it’s your partner’s job to meet all of your needs? Subconsciously, people with a history of abandonment seek to make up for what they lost in childhood. Enter unrealistic expectations. The burden of repaying past emotional debt is often placed on the other person’s shoulders. The person is placed on a pedestal and hugged tightly. The relationship becomes addictive because the person has what you “need”. Fear of abandonment and addiction to love go hand in hand. Love addicts seek that “fix” constantly. They use people to make them feel whole. They rely on their partner as their source of happiness. Unfortunately, “high” sex only temporarily relieves the pain. For a person, this expectation creates a huge pressure on a person. Second, you will experience disappointment because no human being can satisfy all your desires. To break this toxic dependency, you must change the way you primarily meet your needs. What if you took full responsibility for your happiness? You need to invest in yourself and have a purpose to create the life you want. For some people, this is like seeking God, working with a therapist, joining a small group, traveling, exercising, creating a new life goal, learning a new skill, multi-tasking, etc. diversify relationships or start a new career.3. Learn to authenticate yourselfMost people who struggle with a fear of abandonment rely heavily on external validation to make them feel confident. They operate from the belief, “I need constant reinforcement to verify that people love me so that I can feel good about myself.” Renunciation destroys your self-esteem so naturally that there is a huge attraction for others to see it as your primary source of authenticity. A deep longing lies within your soul to be told, “You’re fine.” There’s nothing wrong with accepting assertions. The problem is when you can’t function without it and constantly need people to help you get emotionally resuscitated. Do you lose control when criticized? The reality is that sometimes we don’t get the positive feedback we want. What if your mood wasn’t dictated by people’s words and behavior? Don’t give people the right to determine your self-worth. Learn to anchor yourself instead of relying on others to support you. Seeking approval is a fruitless endeavor; it will never satisfy. Also, no compliment will convince you of your importance if you don’t believe it yourself. When you define yourself, it forces you to understand who you really are instead of defining yourself based on how people treat you.4. Please authenticateHave you let go of your true self? Do you misrepresent yourself or stifle relationships? Giving up can disrupt a person’s personal growth because they believe a lie says they’re not good enough. As a result, they use false identities, and their sense of self becomes fluid. They often adjust themselves to the wishes of the people around them. They are willing to lose themselves in exchange for approval and attention. Instead of being authentic, they aim for a gentle, comfortable version of themselves in order to achieve “likeness”. They soothe their partner to avoid causing trouble. They believe that one wrong word or one mistake can cause the relationship to end. Don’t diminish your uniqueness. Self-denial is a toxic conservation strategy. Strong relationships are created when two different people come together. Maintain a sense of self in close relationships. Courageous enough to clearly define your identity. Commit to pricing yourself enough to not sell out any more.5. Practice self-confrontationHave you sacrificed your integrity to “save” a relationship? Most of the time, the worst of us comes out in conflict. Hurting people hurts others. Those who fear abandonment are masters of control. If they can manipulate people, then they can reduce abandonment anxiety. Are you sympathetic when you play the victim? When your partner confronts you, do you pretend to be confused? Are you embarrassed when your partner spends time with you? Do you attack your partner’s weak points to get your way? It will be much easier to blame your partner. “If only he noticed me.” “If she just listened to me.”The first person you need to confront is you. Individuals with strong egos admit when they are wrong. To heal from abandonment, you need to become a person who daily confronts yourself and takes responsibility for how your actions hurt people. . You correct personal flaws and take ownership of bad behavior even at the cost. You change not to get “certain feedback” from your partner, but to maintain your integrity. In return, you will gain a lot of self-esteem. Determine to stop shirking responsibility because of your past. Don’t blame, justify or excuse bad behavior to save face. Just own it. Take an inventory of how unfairly you treat your partner. Boldly admit your guilt in a toxic relationship. Don’t take on more responsibility than due, but do your part. Humbly confess your offense to your partner. This move will no doubt disrupt the status quo, however, sometimes volatility is needed to create traction in relationship deadlock areas.
Inference
The question remains: will you tolerate the discomfort for the sake of development? Building a strong self will awaken your anxiety. But every time you avoid reassurance-seeking and control behaviors, you strengthen your emotional muscles. Can you keep the line to yourself? When you start to become overly dependent on your partner, will you confront and readjust yourself? What if this wound of abandonment was an invitation to you to reorganize yourself into a resilient person? It is only when we test our abilities that we discover our hidden strength. Read more: how to drive a wheelchair on an atv
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