How To Be A Good Sub

When I first joined BDSM as a follower, I realized my only job was to show up, follow orders, and enjoy myself. “This! I’m here! Let’s take those whips okay?! “Read: How to be a good sub After all, action means staying above the dom, right? While BDSM may appear from the outside as one person acting with another, the truth is that lasting close relationships are all about equal partnerships. If you’re not clear on how to be a good sub and please your dom, I’ve got you covered with this article.

What you need for time playing Kinky


  • Any tools or toys you want your partner to use while playing, like ropes, paddles, blindfolds, or pacifier clips.
  • Safety equipment for the activities you want to do. (For example, if your partner is going to tie you up, they’ll need a sturdy pair of scissors in case they need to quickly release you.)

How to be a great sub

1. Understand Your Responsibilities.

Giving up your desired level of control and focusing on your partner will be your main priority while playing. That’s the sexy fun part!However, there are important things to keep in mind if you want to keep your BDSM activity healthy. For the most part, it’s up to you to decide which activities take place or not. BDSM. That is abuse. Mothers need structure to work within our boundaries, and a woman saying “Do whatever you want” is a huge red flag. Creator. You’ll also need to let your dom know when they go into unwanted territory, which means you’ll need to use your safe keyword. Many people who are just starting to register have difficulty with this. Self-awareness is your friend here. For most of us, our passions can be related to personal problems or baggage deep in our subconscious. Many people find BDSM therapeutic for this reason.womenThis can be great, but remember that our rulers may not be qualified professionals and we cannot expect them to be entirely responsible for our mental health. . For example, the act of being completely helpless while playing can be exhilarating. However, being completely helpless in practice leads to a dangerous situation, especially as far as BDSM is concerned. Make sure to stand your ground and take a step back to handle things when necessary. I also have their own needs and limitations. Make sure to pay equal attention to their physical and mental health.

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2. Learn about the Dom’s Fetishes personality and what drives their interest.

When I first started playing, I had an idea of ​​why I liked pain and submission. However, I don’t understand why my partner enjoys domination or masochism. love the idea of ​​conquering a stubborn submissive, while others hate wisdom and seek out women who worship them without question. Listen carefully as they open up to share.

3. Think about Your Preferences and Limits, and Your Preferred Safe Keyword System.

Hobbies are activities that you want to try, like binding, objectifying, or waxing. Hard limits are activities you don’t want to do and soft limits are activities you might want to try at some point, but hesitate.sub in BDSM . wire sessionIt’s hard to know what your preferences or limitations are when you’re just starting out, but as I mentioned above, your dom will need to work within a structure you set up. If you are unsure of all the possibilities that BDSM can have, check out the BDSM glossary or the BDSM checklist. Please note that you need to understand the risks of any activity you wish to attempt in order to reasonably agree to do it. Additionally, you’ll want to come up with a keyword system that you’re comfortable using. While having a single safe keyword may work well for some people, having multiple safe keywords can be extremely helpful.

4. Communicate whatever you want the other party to know during the negotiation process.

Negotiation is a key aspect of BDSM best practices. It’s important to chat before playing to clarify limits, cryptosystems, and other considerations. I assure you, that is absolutely not the case. Talking about quirky details can be incredibly stimulating and create a great sense of anticipation for both of you.woman getting ready for BDSM sessionWhat’s not sexy is the hurt, the loss of trust, and the misunderstanding about whether an action is okay or not. However, we want to avoid these problems.

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5. Prepare yourself for playtime.

You want to be physically, mentally, and emotionally balanced before starting a BDSM session. Here are a few ways you might want to prepare:

  • Many doms and subs thrive on the element of surprise in the scenes. Indeed, not knowing what to expect during a session can be thrilling! However, it’s also easy to stress yourself out and worry unnecessarily, which will keep you from enjoying the moment. I try to meditate a bit to focus my mind so I can be fully present with my illness.
  • Certain binding positions can constrict the body in uncomfortable ways. (That’s usually the point! Mwahaha!)
  • Stretching first can do wonders for your ability to enjoy the experience and walk without (too much) pain afterward. Roll out that yoga mat, eccentric girl!
  • You and your dom will need to collect any specific equipment you want to use. For example, if you’re looking to play anal, you’ll need a lubricant specifically designed for it. If you’re going to be playing with a rope, you’ll need the rope itself and safety items like scissors. Any type of play that involves abrasion or penetration of the skin, like needle play, requires products that can clean the skin and prevent infection. Make sure you have what you need.

6. Enjoy your view while monitoring your state of mind.

Wonderful! You are ready to play! Now you can experience all the fun, challenging, relaxing and mind-changing effects of BDSM with your partner. Enjoy yourself! Also, be sure to always be aware of your emotional and physical state, and communicate your feelings when necessary.Aftercare BDSMIt’s never a good idea to assume that your dom understands how you react to any aspect of the game. Doms are not mind readers, nor are they misguided.

7. Mining With Your Safe Keywords At Any Point, For Any Reason.

Read more: how to become a writer for snl This can lead to self-inflicted trauma and injury. Do not be shy!

8. Domination is hard to get right, so be patient when things don’t go well.

A great dom will want to do everything they can to please you. However, they are human like the rest of us and will make mistakes. This can be frustrating or even scary at times, but try to stay patient and calmly explain your feelings when things don’t go your way.

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9. Be present with your Dom during the aftercare period.

Post-wellness is the time when you and your partner make sure you’re both fine and can transition smoothly back to reality. only for your sake, but also yours.Aftercare BDSMThey may feel a bit taken aback, exhausted, or even guilty after particularly intense scenes.

10. Give the candidate feedback on what you did or didn’t like during the game.

My best domination partners always ask, “Is there anything you don’t like about what we’ve done?” Aftercare may or may not be the right time to talk about this, but it’s important to address it at some point. freely explore and adapt their approach in the future, your next scenes will only get better!

11. Try to please your Dom in small ways before you play again.

I always enjoy touching the base and flirting to keep things interesting between sessions. . (I do this all the time!) These little steps will keep your partner inspired. Be their muse!

12. Make sure your Dom knows how much you value them.

BDSM can arouse intense emotions and it is easy to get caught up in our heads. Make sure to let your partner know that their efforts are appreciated. As you can see, submitting an application is much more complicated than just following an order. Don’t let this scare you off! The exchange of power will add beautiful depth and intimacy to your relationship if you and your partner both approach it with mindfulness and compassion.

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Posts “How To Be A Good Sub” posted by on 2021-09-16 00:06:37. Thank you for reading the article at

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