My husband and I met at a Midwest wedding, and it was amazing… It was amazing until his sabbatical ended, and he had to move back to the east coast where he was. quarter. We spent several years apart before finally moving to the same city together. his home for the first time. I had never seen a town or military base before in my life. It definitely takes some getting used to.So it’s no surprise that when I first became a military wife, I had a great academic performance. From implementation to power of attorney to basic rights and spousal resources, I was clearly clueless. I am grateful for the other spouses and my husband who have helped me develop some great military spouses over the past few years. . It’s still fresh in my mind, and there are still days when military life feels overwhelming. Gaining insights into military life takes time, and even the most seasoned military spouse feels lost at times. oh-so-much better wife:
Continue to pursue your own needs, wants, desires, and goals. Military life has a way of overshadowing all of your own goals and aspirations. Remember to prioritize yourself to avoid burnout in the long run. Find a passion or hobby that you can take with you wherever you go.
Enjoy where you are. You can have 3 years of suffering or 3 years of happiness. Even if you’re in the middle of a California dessert with almost no one around, you have to find a way to have fun. Military life is full of ups and downs and the only way to survive is to find the best in every situation.
Find a mentor. Support will make all the difference in the world. Many times you will have to ask for it, and that’s okay. Seek out a mate more seasoned in the military and ask for help, support, and guidance. Most were willing to help because they were all there.
Find out your resources and benefits. Know what military programs are available to you as a military wife and use them. If you don’t use your resources, they will start to deplete. Know your spouse’s healthcare, retirement, and other benefits.
Find a deployment buddy. It’s nearly impossible to survive an implementation without at least one headset.
Do it yourself. It’s okay if you feel overwhelmed or sometimes get stuck. It’s completely normal. No super-military spouse handles all of this perfectly.
Other military spouses advisor. Once you feel comfortable as a new wife in the military, lead the other spouses under your help and guide them. They will love you for it.
Join and volunteer. Joining your military community is a great way to build relationships. And it’s important to stay networked and connected, so you have support when you really need it.
Military spouse is your greatest asset. Civilian friends are great, but no one understands the challenges of military life better than a military spouse. Make as many friends as possible.
Go out of your way to meet people. When you are a person who is always on the go and living away from home, you often have to start new relationships in your life. Trying your best to put yourself out there can really go a long way.
Military marriages are a lot of work. Marriage is a difficult work period. Throw yourself into the challenges of military life, and marriage becomes a whole new ball game. Make your military marriage a priority to keep it strong.
Value, respect and support your spouse. As much as you need your husband to support you, he needs you too.
Deployment is an opportunity for growth. Sure, the implementation isn’t always peach and cream, but there’s a flip side to everything. Find the positive in the negative. Deployment is a great opportunity to focus and invest in yourself.
The omission is difficult. Sometimes learning to reconnect after deployment and being a family again is the hardest part about being separated. It’s okay if it doesn’t go the way you hoped. It’s completely normal for those who are lacking in the house to find it difficult.
Prepare to live away from home. More often than not, this is the case with most military wives. The good thing is that the military spouse community is very supportive, and you will find your own little ‘family’ everywhere you go. Cross your fingers.
Prepare to move a lot. While frequent travel is a challenge, it’s also a chance to enjoy new adventures like you’ve never been before! Use this helpful PCS checklist to get you through!
Plan everything in advance. Things tend to run more smoothly when planned.
Hopefully none of your plans will actually happen. Military life changed instantly. Plans are expected to change.
Be faithful to your spouse. This may seem obvious, but I can’t tell you how many spouses I really know (yes, personally) fell into a dark trap while the husband was deployed. Be smart, choose wisely and be faithful to your husband.
Cut down on your spouse some indulgence. Military life can also feel overwhelming for a military service member.
Know that having children in military life is different from civilian life. It is simply another aspect of parenting. You’ll have to explain why dad is working so much and help them through the difficult feelings of a breakup.
Making friends is harder in some ways. Friends always come and go, in addition, there are friends from the same hometown who live far away. This can put a strain on building close friendships every time you move.
Making friends is easier in some ways. Since everyone is in the same boat, sometimes it’s easier to make friends.
Strategize how you will best deal with the deployment. Discover what works for you during deployment. Does going home help? Would doing some more hobbies help? Does eating chocolate under the skin help? No, I’m probably the only one eating candy bars in bed.
Learn jargon. Learning military bazillion acronyms makes life easier.
Know how to seek support and help. Use Facebook groups, military websites, community pages, family readiness officer blogs, and military wife blogs to get support in your area. Join mom groups if you’re a mom, or join other interest groups in your community to build networks.
There will be many missed milestones. Unfortunately, military service members often miss birthdays, holidays, important events, even weddings and births.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. You don’t have to be a perfect spouse. If you’re having bad days, we’re all there for you.
Prepare for the possibility of death, injury, and PTSD. I hate to say this, but it’s important to be prepared for anything that can happen. There’s no way to be completely prepared, but learning about what to expect if faced with a dire situation helps.
Keep everything legal in order. Wills, powers of attorney, life insurance… all good deeds need to be done correctly and safely in your home.
Your attitude is everything. Staying optimistic helps a lot.
Memorize important numbers. Remembering your husband’s phone number, work number, social security number, etc. It makes life easier.
PDA is prohibited when a service member wears a uniform. Obviously that’s a rule.
Go left when your spouse is in uniform. This allows him to have his right arm free to salute.
Call all your husband’s superiors Sir unless told otherwise. Just good military etiquette.
Take good care of your military ID. Never post, email, text or send pictures of it.
Never mention anything training or deployment related on social media. The ultimate goal is to protect your husband and your family. Keeping confidential information confidential is important.
Learn about basic salary and special allowances. If you are married, financial transparency is really important. You both need to know where the money is coming and going.
Get acquainted with your base and station. Figuring out your way as a mate in the military, all about knowing how to get around your community helps a lot.
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Keep lines of communication open with your spouse. Read books on how to improve communication in your marriage if you need to.
Don’t blink. It all really went by very quickly. In 5 years, you’ll look back and ask yourself how you got through it. You’ve got this!
Be flexible. Learning to adapt to change is your best army survival skill!
Know that you are not alone. It may seem like the road less traveled, but there are 1.2 million of us to be exact. And we’re all in this together!
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What’s your best tip for a new wife in the military? Let’s chat in the comments! Read more: how to tighten the waist with crochet hook
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