Why Can’t I Connect With People
by Andrea BlundellConnecting with people is now proven by research good for our mood and even our physical health. Read: why can’t I connect with people
- But what is “connection”, really?
- What makes it so important?
- How can you tell if you’re really connecting with others?
- And what can you do if the subject is a constant struggle for you?
Do I really have to connect with other people?
Contents
Connectivity has been recognized as vital to health since the last century.The famous psychologist Abraham Maslow’s ‘hierarchy of needs’ considers our needs secondary to our survival needs. And attachment theory suggests that a child needs a trusted connection with a caregiver to do well as an adult.Connection protects our mental health. One Research on depressed men shows that even joining a social group reduces the chance of becoming depressed again by 25%. [1]And connection is even more important when it comes to A large-scale study of the link between living a long, disease-free life has found that low social connections have more of an effect on our mortality rates than lack of exercise. exercise and is twice as harmful as being overweight. The review also found that loneliness affects morbidity as much as smoking or alcohol problems. [2].
What does connecting with people really mean?
Real connection is more than just talking to other people or sharing interests. After all, we can talk for more than an hour with someone about sports or politics, even if we secretly can’t stand them. On the other hand, frequent contact, such as working with someone every day, does not guarantee a real connection.Connecting with others is feeling open and available to another person, even if you feel they are open and available to you. Other components of the human connection are empathy and compassion – we feel goodwill towards the person we are connecting with.
Examples of connecting with others
Example of human connection are things like below:
- have a personal conversation about what is important to you with someone and feel heard and understood
- Take the time to listen to others and feel real empathy for them
- help others with unconditional goodwill
- offer sincere gratitude to others and receive gratitude from others
- catch strangers’ eyes and smile
- experiences shared with others include laughter and goodwill.
How do I know if I’m really connected to someone else?
1. You are in the present moment When we connect with others, we no longer think about what happened in the past or about our future worries. We are fully open to the present moment and the shared experience we are having with others.2. You are being yourself. Human connection only works if there is honesty. It won’t work if we try to be something we don’t have. You feel open – whether you feel good or not. Read more: Ask Me Why | Top Questions & Connecting with Others often feels good. But this is not always true. Feeling confident enough with someone to share a sad experience or something you’re upset about can also be a very effective way to connect with someone. You feel empathy and kindness towards the other person. Anger or meanness keeps us from connecting, as does judgment and criticism. Human relationships are usually kind. Sure, we can feel connected when we laugh at others about other people. But then there is often a feeling of emptiness, indicating that it has no connection at all. There’s always a sense of trust between you and your partner, which can happen even between two strangers – for example, allowing someone to help you carry your suitcase up the stairs shows that you trust them.
- You’re always trying to connect with others in a fun, funny, or smart way, and you’re always watching other people’s reactions to know what to do next.
When you need to feel accepted, you’re not who you are, or even manipulating others to get attention. It is not a connection, it is Shows.
- Your “connection” is based on someone else’s dislike of sharing or talking about others.
Sure, you have something in common, but the tight feeling inside doesn’t one of trust and connection. It only miserable group.
- You always ‘have a laugh’ with other people.
Many people hide behind humor. Again, you can’t really connect if you really aren’t present.
- You have many ‘fun’ nights when you’re drunk.
This can sometimes lead to real sharing and connection. But if the only thing you share is that you both enjoy drinking or dancing, that’s shared experience over a real connection.
- You spent years of your life with someone.
If you can’t be yourself or trust others, or if they hide their true selves, and if trust isn’t there, then you are merely Let’s pass the time together. Sadly, all of this is often the case with ‘friendship’ or even a relationship in modern society.
Why is connecting with people so difficult for me?
- Have you always observed how other people are so comfortable around each other, but simply don’t understand how?
- Do you feel alienated from others?
- Does social interaction make you feel anxious?
- Do you feel you don’t have a true sense of self to connect with others?
- Do you constantly receive feedback that you are ‘difficult’, ‘difficult’?
Interaction between people is not easy for everyone. For some, it’s just a case of shy, but if you are, you tend to feel more connected to family and a few close friends rather than strangers. This may sound scary, but it simply means that you may need to rethink your perspective or seek some support to try new ways of thinking and behaving.
Psychological issues that make it difficult to connect with others
There are several, including:
- low self-respect
- trust problem
- attached problem
- childhood trauma including abuse
- Autism and Aging
- Depression
- anxiety and social anxiety disorder
- personality disorder.
Personality disorder and difficulty connecting with people
You find you can’t connect with anyone, not even your family? That you have had this problem since at least when you were young? That other people constantly notice you’re acting in ‘different’ or ‘weird’ ways? Or even find you don’t even want to connect and can’t understand why someone else does? Read more: Witch why emhyr wants ciriThese are all possible signs of a personality disorder, a common reason connecting with people is a problem. means that the way you see the world and therefore the way you behave does not match the way most people see things. Being on a different wavelength from ‘norm’ means that you may not understand others, even if they do not understand you.
What should I do if I think I have a personality disorder or problem?
It’s best not to self-diagnose. We all have times when we act and think in ways that others find unusual. Often it’s just stress or a difficult life change, or because a childhood trauma is resurfacing that needs to be addressed.If you find yourself researching the signs of a particular personality disorder, Or feel you have an emotional health issue that is holding you back and making you lonely? Your best bet is to seek support. Talk to your GP, a school counselor, or consider working with a counselor or psychotherapist.Harley Therapy connects you with friendly and highly trained psychotherapists and counselors who can help you connect better with others. You can choose from one of six central London locations, or with Skype Consulting you can work from the comfort of your home. Still have questions about connecting with people? Want to share your personal experience with our readers? Use the comment box below.Andrea Blundell is a screenwriter turned mental health researcher and writer. She is currently the main writer of this website. She grew up in a very distant family and now specializes in writing about relationships. Read more: Why does my camera shake Read more: Why does my camera shake[1] Cruiser T, Dingle GA, Haslam C, Haslam SA, Jetten J, Morton TA. Social group membership protects against future depression, eases depressive symptoms, and prevents relapse of depression. Squirrel Sci Med. December 2013; 98:179-86. doi: 10.1016 / j.socscimed.2013.09.013. Epub 2013 September 25. PMID: 24331897.[2]Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Layton JB. Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytical review. PLoS Med. 2010 July 27; 7 (7): e1000316. doi: 10.1371 / journal.pmed.1000316. PMID: 20668659; PMCID: PMC2910600.Read more: Why is my camera shaking 
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