nicknotas | Top Q&A
Read: Why She Doesn’t Text Me Back When we first started dating, nothing was more exciting than flirting with a new girl over text. I also remember that there is nothing more stressful than waiting for an answer. And wait. And when she never answered – realized that our connection was likely dead in the water. I check my phone constantly, worrying about whether to send another text, and always wondering WHY… why isn’t she talking to me? Ten years later, I now know that worrying about it is a waste of time. Unfortunately, there were no clear answers then, and there are no clear answers now either. I can only make educated guesses about a woman’s motives. There are countless reasons a girl would go to MIA, but my advice will always be… Stop her unresponsiveness. Instead, focus on an action plan to get the conversation going again. register!)
1. Give her a day to reply before you send another message
Assume that your message was sent successfully. Unless your phone says otherwise, it’s almost guaranteed that she got it. Maybe she hasn’t seen it yet. Maybe she did, but she’s busy with work, school, or other things in the real world. Maybe she’s waiting for a response because it’s not her top priority at the moment. Maybe she’s joking. Or maybe she got bored with this conversation. She wants to make sure you’re not stressed, needy, or over-invested. If she’s seen the message and is waiting or choosing not to reply, your follow-up often reinforces that she shouldn’t reply. It feels so arbitrary and like you have nothing better to do. I’m not saying pretend you’re cool and aloof. Rather, I want you to put yourself in the shoes of a confident man whose choices are not seeking approval. He might think, “that sucks” when he doesn’t get an answer… but then he’ll focus on something else. He will be productive, hang out with his friends, do something fun for himself, and talk to other women.
2. But don’t wait more than 2-3 days to text back
That said, a lot of guys go against the stress of texting and distance themselves entirely instead. They decide not to text for days, weeks, or more—even if this is the first time she feels cold. But as I said before, the necessity depends on your mindset. If you really want to hook up with this girl and are backing away to manipulate her approval of you – you’re lacking. Another reason is that guys feel like they’ve put in enough effort and now it’s the girl’s turn to reciprocate. I wish the world worked like that. Some women will initiate contact again but many others, even those interested, will not. If this is just the first time she’s stopped responding, there’s no point in playing the game of waiting and potentially missing your chance.
3. Don’t ask her if she got your last text or talk about the same
I know you can feel at a loss starting over with a quiet girl. Your natural inclination might be to double check if she’s received your message or to repeat the same topic. For example, maybe she went silent after you asked her what she was up to on Thursday. You write something like… “I guess sitting at home and not talking to anyone after that =P” [Making fun of her not answering]”So what did you end up doing on Thursday?” [Asking her after the fact]“Not sure if you got my last text but I was wondering what your plans are for Thursday?” [Double checking]These rarely work. Even if you think you’re being sarcastic about her not responding, you’ll come across as passive, aggressive, and bitter. It’s not fun to push her to respond to that particular idea or to test her as if you were her dad. It also makes you feel like you’re hanging over why she’s not responding.
4. Don’t ask her out right away
You also don’t want to ask her out like your first text back to her. This is especially true if your previous unanswered message was about trying to set up a plan. Read more: Why does my boyfriend hate me? 5 honest reasons | Q&A back to top She may not be comfortable enough or excited enough to start a date. Pushing again without addressing those feelings (through positive emotions, see below) will often yield another silent or uncommitted response. when she shows positive emotions. Because if she goes silent on the radio after your first invitation, you have to count the second invitation. They know that you may be feeling rejected and frustrated, which makes them feel uncomfortable. In turn, they may back away to avoid confrontation or convince themselves that that’s not the case. Then they come back to ignore you or tell you sorry, but they don’t care. Sending a few more playful texts will change the vibe and make her feel more secure about your connection. Here’s how you should start the conversation again:
5. Get a flood of positive emotions and then ask her out
As I said earlier, women stop responding for a variety of reasons. But it’s usually because they’re not excited, invested, or comfortable enough to meet you (essentially a stranger). deeper level. But women don’t want that over text – it’s a horrible means of communication. She might do it on a date with you. All she really needs is to FEEL that it’s going to be a great, fun experience to meet you. it is not capable of going anywhere. This is why messages like “Hey, how are you?”, “So did you do well on the test?” flat fall. They don’t encourage her to open up and feel something more, you want her to experience positive emotions like enthusiasm, curiosity, playfulness, passion and make her laugh while reading. your message. There are countless ways to do this:
- Use more descriptive or emotional language even when talking about mundane things. Make everyday conversation more engaging. Use words that paint a picture or evoke strong reactions.
- “Btw, the new album X blew my mind, I think I just had an audition.” compared to “Btw, that new album X is great.”
- “I just shook my butt like Shakira at salsa. Engage yourself in anything interesting? ” vs “I just got back from salsa class. What are you doing tonight?”
- Add funny GIFs using iMessage/Whatsapp to enhance your message. So on salsa messages, for example, you could then include a GIF of a cat clumsily swaying its body.
- Share something interesting about yourself. This could be a situation that has happened to you, an adventure you’ve had, or an idea/topic that you’re passionate about.
- Send a photo of you hiking at a beautiful lake, at a concert, or in your new outfit. You can attach a quick note like “I’m here for you Daniel Craig.”
- “I just spent the last 15 minutes wondering what my dog was trying to tell me. I can’t be the only one, can I? ”
- “Yeaaaah, I finally got my SCUBA certification. Feel free to take pictures of me in my wetsuit. “
- Ask a question regarding her life, something you’re really curious about, or just something random/silly. When someone asks a good question about a topic we’re passionate about, we love talking about it. And fun or thought-provoking questions will surprise and stimulate us to continue active conversation.
- “So what inspired your bohemian-chic style? A memorable trip? ”
- “You said you liked sketching – could you draw me like one of your French girls?”
- “What’s your most useless superhero power?”
If you haven’t noticed, there is a topic here. All of these messages are short (maximum 1-2 sentences), funny, and often contain a joke. And if she feels great talking to you via text, she won’t be able to wait to see you in person. However, don’t wait long to take your action. After she responds positively a few times, attack while the iron is hot and invite her out. These 5 steps will give you the best chance of recovering a dead chat. But if you’ve tried all of the above several times and she still hasn’t responded – it’s time to focus on someone else who’s more interested in connecting with you. — If, after reading this, you are still struggling with generating texting interest, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this alone. If you want a more tailored approach to consistently sparking higher quality connections with women who really want to get to know you, have a free, 100% confidential consultation call ( up to 30 minutes) to discuss how we can work together. Schedule your free strategy session here. Read more: Why I lied about being pregnant
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